I go through seasons where I’m completely confident in who I am, and I am filled with purposeful inspiration about what I am called to do. But there are also seasons where I am consumed with doubt, filled with frustration, and cannot seem to stop comparing my progress to that of the people around me.
Tonight, I stood in the shower and, amazingly, for the first time ever, asked Yahweh how to stop comparing myself to other people. It’s such a simple thing to ask, yet I’d never done it. And He answered me you guys. The answer popped right out of my own mouth. This is typical in my relationship with Yahweh, He speaks to me through me. Writing is an example of this. He uses my hands and my mouth as conduits for His expression to me.
So standing in my shower, I spoke and said, “Comparison is simply a conversation with the Devil, in which he, Satan, attempts to convince you that who you are, what you have, and where you are is of lesser importance than the person next to you. The comparison conversation happens when your ears are too free, when your mind is not occupied with Kingdom things, when you aren’t engaged in conversation with me on a consistent enough basis. Satan’s words wouldn’t have that great of an effect on you if I really have your ear.”
So I stood in the shower for about two solid minutes doing nothing but using all the hot water, because I needed to process that.
We are susceptible to comparison when we aren’t in close enough communication with Yahshua. We hear too much from everyone else when we’re not hearing enough from the Holy Spirit.
It all goes back to relationship. Comparison causes us to look up and around at people. It causes us to glance at Yahweh, but stare at others and ourselves. While we stop and stare, Satan whispers lies into our ears – lies that completely contradict everything that Yahweh says about us. And as He whispers those things to us, we join in, we talk down about ourselves, we let shame slide back in like an abusive ex, we begin to look at ourselves in the light of his words instead of in light of Yahshua’s words. But if we are truly engaged, enraptured, engrossed in relationship with Yahweh, if we are constantly allowing Him to comment on our day’s happenings, if we are consciously including Him in our daily decision-making processes, then we are doing what the Bible calls ‘praying without ceasing’, we are engaging in active and open communication with Yahweh from the time we rise until the time we lay down.
We are making no room for the enemy or his lies. And in doing that, it sharpens our ear to the voice of Yahweh. Hearing the Holy Spirit speak was a hard thing for me to grasp when I first started seeking Yahweh. Firstly, because I didn’t believe He wanted to talk to me. Secondly, because I was comparing the frequency with which He spoke to everyone else with my seeming lack of conversation.
It wasn’t until I went through a bout of crippling comparison that sent me into isolation and into the arms of depression for a short while that I felt an inexplicable tugging at my heart. And it felt like the tugging wanted me to seek Yahweh more. So I did. I threw myself into Bible study and relentless prayers. In the process I released my expectations of what relationship with Yahshua would look like for me, and simply asked Him to reveal Himself to me in a way that He knew would fit us best.
Do what’s best for us, is what I said. And He began to speak to me through writing, and eventually, in my own mind and from my own lips.
As we draw closer to Yahshua through relationship, He shares more and more with us about who we truly are, what we were created for, and His plans and intentions for us. Relationship with Yahweh has to be all about you and Him. And when it’s just the two of you, you won’t feel the need to be jealous of what someone else is doing or who they are becoming. You will be secure enough within yourself to sincerely celebrate the successes of others. You will be so grounded in your identity, and so reassured that who you are is enough because of what Yahweh has personally told you, that seeing others come into their own will have no ill effect on you.
Comparison seeks to convince you that your grade of purpose is insignificant or less impactful than another’s. Comparison seeks to diminish what Yahweh put His stamp of approval on. Comparison seeks to corrode the confidence that Yahweh Himself has embedded in your DNA for you to live a life of meaning boldly. Comparison seeks to distort your vision and pollute your insight; it wants to draw your focus away from Yahweh and onto mere man. And that will ultimately lead to destruction.
In today’s day and age it’s so easy to find someone to compare ourselves to. We have to work harder to close ourselves off from being influenced by other people’s success or failure. And we have to strive relentlessly to be rooted and grounded in Yahweh’s word and in His love. We cannot afford for our identities to be dictated by anything other than what He says about us – and that includes the negative things you think about yourself.
We have to value Yahweh’s opinion of us above all else, and His opinion of us is free-standing, and independent of influence based on the achievements of others. He sees you as one of a kind, unique, and necessary. Don’t allow comparison to diminish your worth in your own eyes. Don’t let Satan’s lies become louder than Yahweh’s truths.
But engaging in relationship and conversation with Yahweh on a regular basis will not stop Satan from speaking to you. In fact, it will assure that he speaks more often and even louder. But what relationship with Yahweh does is it allows you to identify him, even if he sounds a lot like you. Don’t give him leeway in your mind. Don’t turn around and agree with what he says – turn around and tell him what thus says Yahweh and uproot the lie he’s been plaguing you with. Don’t stand in solidarity with his nonsense, call him out and send him packing.
This is not a one-time thing. The comparison conversation will never die down, and the more you surround yourself with purposed people, people on missions, people on fire for the kingdom and in full pursuit of the manifestation of Yahweh’s glory here on earth, you will be tempted to raise your head from the task you’ve been personally assigned and look around. You will want to compare. As soon as you get over a hump and Yahweh manifests in a huge way for you, you will see Him show up for someone else in a different way, and the enemy will attempt to convince you that the way he did it for them is better, because they are better, and he loves them more.
That’s a lie.
Saturate your days with glory-filled conversations with the Holy Spirit. Allow Him to show Himself in all the happenings of your life, in all the seemingly small things. Let Him whisper in your ear and send songs to raise your spirit. Let His hands rest on your shoulders and let His love warm your heart. Let Him permeate your being and take over your mental space. Surrender the real estate of your mind to Him, and watch the comparison conversation become easier and easier to confront and conquer.
Yahweh is faithful, and he chose you. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise, especially the devil in Hell.