I’m currently on a month-long social media fast.
My last blog post I did was all about comparison. It kind of cleared my eyes and ears. I realized I needed to unplug and get back to my basics.
I was (and still am) very scatter-brained and unfocused. I’ve been lacking a lot of drive and motivation to create lately, and I think it has a lot to do with my inability to focus. So, I helped myself along and deleted all my social media apps. I may do a second post talking about the things I noticed during the fast (if you’d like this, leave me a comment below), but I’ve already noticed that without social media, I have a lot more time than I thought I did.
Before I went dark on social media, the Holy Spirit whispered something to me while I was waiting for the scanner at work to actually do its job right. He told me He wanted to show me the glory in my lane.
To be honest, it weirded me out a little bit. The glory in my lane….it sounded odd. So I ignored it (I don’t recommend doing that). Then I started to notice – even more than usual – people doing things that they loved, well. I began to recognize how useful, how necessary, how beautiful these people operating in purpose actually are. And as I did, the message came hurling back at me. There’s glory to be had in my lane – in the place of my purpose, in running my race, in doing the things that I am called, graced, and love to do. I decided to give the odd word a chance.
On some level, at some point, I forgot the real reason why I write. I’m not saying that I completely flaked on my calling, but we all know what we’re capable of doing versus what we actually do, and what is really important versus what we choose to prioritize and actually do. What I’m saying is, I slowed my progress in my own lane because I watching everyone else run their race. Being a cheerleader is not a bad thing at all, but we have to be self-aware enough to know when our cheers have been tainted with bitterness and our applause are dampened by inward discontent. Feeling unsure of yourself is no sin, but unchecked heart issues can morph into hideous actions and devastating lies that we unfortunately can begin to build on. So I decided to buck up and face the fact that I wasn’t doing anyone else justice cheering them on because I wasn’t doing my own race any justice.
The drag I feel inside, the sense of restlessness and lack of inspiration may very well be results of a lack of dedication and prioritization. I’m not beating myself up over this. I’ve done that enough in the past few weeks, and Yahweh has made me aware that it’s not helping me progress, so I need to stop it. Instead, I am trying this new approach. I am going to remind myself of my instructions, limit my distractions, and work hard to steward wisely what’s been entrusted to me.
Going dark on social media won’t fix everything, I know. But if I can limit the outside noise and make more space and time for Yahweh to meet and speak with me, I will feel and be better for it.
The fascination with people doing what they do well has increased, and I know it’s in answer to my prayer. Most of the people I am noticing are people that I’ve known and been following for years. But for some reason, I never appreciated how dedicated they were to their race – the writers, the pastry chefs, the photographers, the media personalities, the scientists and engineers, the preachers, the teachers, the speakers….I’ve been seeing them all in a brand new light.
I think I got weary of being proactive – of chipping away at my rough edges and making slow, steady progress. I think I wanted a lot of change to happen quickly. And even though I know this isn’t realistic, my relenting to willful distraction and engaging in the comparison conversation was an act of impatience. I wanted to arrive at the finish line but got frustrated when I realized it was farther away than I anticipated. I do it all the time in various aspects of my life – with writing, with bible study, with prayer, with exercising (with the QUICKNESS), with journaling, with daily written introspection, with eating gluten and dairy – you name it. I throw towels in all the dang time. But I’m learning to give myself grace, assess the situation, make a strategy, get up, brush off, and start again – slow and steady.
That word that Yahweh so graciously shared with me was a reminder that my time will come. I think I needed to be reminded that there’s a reason why I’m in the space that I am, and that what’s for me is unique and incredible. I needed to be reminded that He’s got me, that my future doesn’t have to look like theirs, I haven’t been called to run like them, I don’t have to be trendy in an attempt to be impactful. I just need to dedicate myself to doing the things He’s called me to do, and the glory will follow.
If you’re cringing at the word ‘glory’ because it sounds like I just want to be noticed, don’t worry, I did too. Until I googled what ‘glory’ meant. While google says that it does mean “high renown or honor won by notable achievements”, definition two tells me that it also means “magnificence or great beauty. “
Yahweh wants to reveal the magnificence and great beauty in what He’s specifically called us to do.
That’s amazing to me.
I’m not trying to build a life of faith for a season, this is literally who I am. I don’t want to talk about purpose and calling like it’s a fad and then run when the going gets tough. I want to practice a lifestyle of patience, persistence, diligence, and wisdom. I want to manage my purpose responsibly. I do not want to burn hot for six months and then burn out for three. Consistency is the goal, and I’m working toward it now, in all the places that count.
Here’s my list of life aspects that I want to grow more consistent and patient in: bible study, prayer, writing, physical health, and relationships.
I encourage you to grab a pen and a notebook, and write down the main areas of your life that are lacking stability. We have to make our lives our responsibilities. We can’t rely on outside sources to make significant changes for us; we have to start grabbing those bad habits by the horns and working to fix them.
I’m making a decision to fight for my change again. I sincerely hope you’ll do the same. Drop a comment below if you’re working on a specific aspect of your character right now. Let’s encourage each other to be better, for growth’s sake.