There is a host of reasons why we find it hard to pray at times. Sometimes it’s because we’re not ready to face what we need to talk to Yahweh about. Sometimes it’s because we haven’t quite figured out how to prioritize relationship with Him above everything else, and unfortunately prayer has fallen by the wayside. Sometimes we don’t think it will do any good or affect any change in a stubborn and painful situation. Sometimes we’re mad at Yahweh and honestly just don’t want to talk to Him.
These have all been my excuse one time or another for why I haven’t prayed, or why I’m technically ‘praying’ but not really saying anything.
Today at work I’m finding myself considering another reason why we may find it hard to pray: disobedience.
I’m going to put myself out there and let you guys know that I started the gym yesterday. I started what I plan to become a life-style change for the better on a Wednesday afternoon, in the middle of the month. It drives me completely crazy because I’m a ‘first Monday of the month’ kind of starter. But for some reason this felt urgent, and I couldn’t continue to put off what Yahweh had been urging me to do for months.
Yahweh told me to take my health more seriously a really long time ago. He didn’t tell me to cut out everything delicious and become a body builder. But He did tell me to consider my temple, and begin to choose Him in everything – including what I eat and how active I am.
I won’t go into detail in this post, but I relented this week and paid for the gym. And not just the gym, I paid to work with a trainer four times a week. If you know me and my history with personal trainers, you know this is a big deal – on the money side and the discipline side.
This is a part of my life He wants to start cleaning up, and because I knew it was going to be emotionally, physically, and financially taxing, I submitted myself to a season of prolonged disobedience in this regard.
I started and stopped, got on and off the wagon time and again, and every time I fell I felt like a failure. But because I never truly committed, I never truly felt like I could ask Yahweh for help in this area.
Has one of your parents ever told you to do something, and you don’t do it, but then you need something from them, and because you didn’t do the first thing they told you to do (or you did it, but not properly), you didn’t feel like you had the right to ask for something else? That was a convoluted, confusing question, but I think you guys know what I mean.
There are holes in my prayer life – places where I don’t feel justified to make requests or ask for assistance because somewhere else, I’ve failed to do what I know is required of me.
There are things I’d pray for boldly, and there are things I’d only mention or request in passing, with no faith whatsoever to back them up.
You’d think that I’d only have issues praying about things related to health and fitness, nope. This area of disobedience has been affecting almost all aspects of my relationship with Yahweh.
That’s what disobedience does – it pokes holes in the fabric of your communication with Yahweh, causing you to think that He’s unwilling or unable to affect change in these areas, when in reality your own avoidance of the command He issued in regards to that thing has created a rift between you two. Pastor Steven Furtick from Elevation Church always says that “Yahweh can’t fix what you won’t face.” And it applies here too.
Disobedience brings shame, regret, and deception. Shame because you’ve neglected to do something you know you should be doing, regret because you wish you had the willower or ability to do what needs to be done, and deception because the shame and regret tell you lies about Yahweh that cause you to believe that your disobedience has somehow negated His ability and willingness to work on your behalf.
It’s incredibly toxic, and re-creates the rifts that Yahshua died to permanently repair.
Hear me, Yahshua didn’t live an isolated, shortened life on this earth, die violently, resurrect gloriously, and ascend magnificently into the Heavens for you to tip-toe around the throne of Yahweh. The veil between the altar and the door was torn in two when He gave up His life. He died so that you and I can approach that throne BOLDLY, with CONFIDENCE, knowing without a doubt that Yahweh, our Father, WILL hear, and WILL come see about us.
How much life are we missing out on because we’re playing it safe in relationship with Yahweh? What parts of our lives are in complete disarray because we don’t believe that it’s within Yahweh’s jurisdiction? Anything that has to do with you, your life, your relationships, your finances , your mental health, your sexuality, your career choices, your physical fitness, your insight and perception of the world around you, your habits and talents, your interests and addictions, it is ALL His area of expertise because He is an expert on you. Yahweh wants to be completely involved in everything, and that’s what Yahshua died to give us: free access to His throne.
Don’t allow your own unwillingness to do the thing He told you to do to create a rift where Yahshua’s body already built a bridge. It’s only been two days, but I already feel the holes in my communication with my Father being mended. He’s already getting involved in this process – the process He told me to start and commit to like two years ago. My obedience may have been delayed, but I’m grateful His grace isn’t. I’m grateful that His love has the ability to transcend my own self-loathing and to assuage my doubt and fears.
He wants to do the same for you. If He’s issued a command that seems too hard for you to carry out, start there. Start with the hard thing, Start with asking Him boldly for the courage and the grace to do what He’s asked of you.
I promise, you have no idea what’s on the other side of your obedience. You have no idea the windows and doors that are locked because they hinge on you doing what He said. You have no idea the domino effect that is associated with your compliance to the will of Yahweh and your willingness to trust Him with your will for yourself.
Let Him lead. Agree to follow. And watch alignment change your life.