Anytime we think about marriage preparation as singles, the thoughts that flood our minds are usually very practical. While I do believe in the practical acts of setting things in place for daily living itself, I have to say, preparing for marriage is anything but practical – it’s divine.
So, instead of informing you of all the resources you can readily google, I’ll instead share with you the divine principles that have helped me to effectively navigate through my first year of marriage and the ways God prepared me for it even in my singleness. I’ll break it down into 5 steps so it’s easier to digest. However, there is absolutely no replacement for the guidance of Holy Spirit in any area of our lives.
Step 1: Get Single
Many of us claim we are single because we don’t have an official romantic attachment. But what I’ve learned, from years of dysfunctional experience is that even without a relationship, our hearts can be bound. The ghosts of relationships past can certainly hover over our lives unless we reconcile and truly get healing.
Step 2: Get healed
After you’ve purged yourself of all things past, it’s time to seek the true healing of God; it’s time for everything in your heart to be reconciled and for you to walk in the truth of who you are rather than who your dysfunctions have convinced you that you are. Your true self is waiting to be revealed the moment you accept the healing power of Christ.
Step 3: Change your mind
Many of the things we may have learned are simply unhealthy. In prayer, by reading the word we conform our thoughts to God’s truth to expel unhealthy mindsets we may have adopted. For example; being cheated on may make us believe we aren’t enough. You should take the time to consider your own thoughts about yourself, about love and what you desire in a marriage to begin with so that Holy Spirit can uproot every unhealthy thing that may linger.
Step 4: Open your heart
You don’t have to be so afraid of pain that love has nowhere to reside. Firstly, open your heart to the Lord and allow Him to satisfy your need for affection and affirmation. As your heart becomes flooded with God’s love, He will allow the love of your life to cut in when His perfect timing permits. Trust God to lead you and be open to the possibilities that brings.
Step 5: Pray
While you’re single, pray for contentment and wisdom. While you’re courting, pray for understanding and guidance. Whatever state you are currently in, I cannot stress enough the importance of prayer. This is the one step that will effectively guide you through every stage and will keep you in perfect peace as your mind is on the Lord and His perfect plan for your life.
I believe that our lives are divinely orchestrated and that every single step is ordered by Him when we allow that to be our truth. In committing our lives and who we spend it with to Him, we submit our lives to the greatest force in the universe and ensure that when our destinies collide with the person we are going to marry, it produces fireworks and not an explosion. God wants what’s best for you, and the best way to prepare for marriage is committing to what He wants for you.
Shakeisha Johnson, also known as Coach Keish, is a certified life coach, and the Founder & CEO of Cross My Heart Ministries. She believes in life change through heart health, and encourages everyone she encounters to delve into relationship with Holy Spirit if they wish to embark on the journey to wholeness. She is an accomplished speaker, Club eNue Mentor, and the author of 100 Days of Singleness. Amidst all her titles, she loves wife and mommy best – loving one man well and raising their two gorgeous daughters is her first ministry.